My body after having two babies

Disclaimer: This post is not for everyone. It contains real and raw imagery about my body post babies.

My intent here is not to complain or ramble on about the changes that have occurred but to discuss the real- and sometimes devastating- changes that occur after childbirth and to reach moms who have experienced similar changes.

When you think of a woman giving birth, what physical postpartum changes come to mind?

Stretch marks-in places you never knew you had, or for some women, weight gain occurs and you hang on to those few extra pounds for months or years after having a baby.

Did you know there is a slew of other physical and mental changes that occur and sometimes don’t ever go away after having a child?

I didn’t, at least to the extent I will explain below until after I carried and birthed two babies.

Although sometimes the mental changes can be scarier, more devastating and feel like they are out of your control (more to come in a later post) … below I would like to discuss solely the physical changes I have experienced from head to toe.

While I was pregnant with Emberly and for many months thereafter, my hair had never been thicker or longer- even though I wasn’t doing anything special except taking prenatal vitamins. On the other hand, after having my son, my hair seems to be the most “fragile” it has ever been. My hair is now thinner and shorter. I have been taking supplements, doing scalp treatments, being conscious of heat on my hair, etc. to no avail trying to regrow my hair.

With my “new” less appealing hair, I have sought out a fresh cut and color to try and feel pretty and put together when my hair is literally falling out more than an average person would lose daily.

Speaking of hair-did you know that women can get chin hairs? All of the sudden I have started getting thick black chin hairs that I have to pluck on a regular basis after having babies!!!

As we all inevitably age, I started noticing the effects of it after my second child. I noticed an increase in fine lines on my forehead and around my eyes-most likely related to the lack of sleep and an increase in stress that children can bring.

I acted quickly, wanting to still look like I was in my 20’s even though I will be for the next 3 years. I invested in a multi-step, anti-aging skincare line. My hope is to reduce the dark circles that often accompany me these days and to slow the damage/aging of my skin. I have liked Clinique skin care- particularly the Clinique smart line.

It’s common knowledge that smells tend to affect a pregnant female, causing nausea and sometimes vomiting, but did you know those aversions can stick with you 3+ years after getting pregnant for the first time?

While pregnant I had to throw away detergents, certain of my husband’s lotion/deodorant and couldn’t be in the kitchen when meat was cooking. I was pregnant with my daughter in 2017 and I still can’t handle a pork roast cooking in the insta-pot without wanting to wretch! And my husband’s lotion bottle is still full to the rim because I won’t let him use it.

These lingering aversions to smells left me very confused and out of tune with my body post- baby. I spent many months thinking I was still pregnant because they caused the same phenomena as when I was pregnant.

It took me quite some time to realize I still have a problem with certain foods and scents- and may always have them.

Growing up, I never had seasonal allergies and I would literally make fun of my brother and think they weren’t real when he had such a hard time year after year.

After having a baby my immunities have changed and I now have severe indoor and outdoor allergies as well as a stuffy nose 365 days of the year.

My boobs, yep, not a pretty picture these days. They have been stretched and sucked on by two little ones and are considerably more droopy. They also now have these “pretty” stretch marks on them.

You know what I haven’t worn in a while? A colorful, lacy or cute bra. Mine these days are strictly black or nude, and any others are sitting in my closet collecting dust until I am done nursing my son.

STRETCH MARKS.

Yep. I said it.

I thought I was doing great when I was pregnant with my daughter Emberly. I didn’t have any my entire pregnancy- and then 38 weeks hit and they slowly started to envelope my abdomen unchecked.

Bright red streaks line the front of my abdomen, my sides, back, my thighs and around my bikini area, despite my weight gain being healthy in pregnancy. After a few months postpartum they faded to gray, but I still opt for the high wasted bikini bottom these days.

I developed more marks when I was pregnant with Grant, but it wasn’t such a shock this time since my skin had already stretched and broke previously.

I am grateful that they fade and aren’t bright red for the duration, but I still rub vitamin E oil on them trying to support that damaged skin.

I hated getting them, I hate my husband running his hand along my tummy, self conscious of the rivets and perceived ugly that now lives there, even though he is just being affectionate and sensual and isn’t bothered by the changes.

Children have a way of loving everyone despite if you are tall, short, fat, skinny, not-so-pretty or pretty. One day shortly after having baby Grant, I stood in my bathroom naked and my daughter reached up with both palms out and placed them on my belly.

She didn’t say anything-but I could tell by her expression that she simply thought something has happened here, mommy’s skin looks different. I told her having these marks means I get you and baby brother.

Do any of my fellow moms have to cross their legs now when they sneeze or cough?

Yep, it is a little looser down there these days and I can’t hold all my pee like I used to. I have tried kegels and pelvic floor exercises to tighten with no avail.

I mean it’s natural that after having two babies you would stretch out, but to this day sex has changed and feels different.

A final lasting change I have experienced is numbness in my hands that I started getting in my third trimester with my first baby. With all the fluid changes and expansion that occurs in pregnancy, nerves and vessels get compressed- causing numbness, tingling and the feeling of fingers being asleep.

To this day I feel numbness in my hands often.

I’m grateful for the aforementioned changes because they have allowed me to have my two little ones.

It doesn’t come with-out adjustment.

At this moment nothing in my closet seems to “fit” even though I haven’t changed sizes in clothes.

It has been a matter of changing clothing styles, changing my hair and using regimes that help allow my beauty to shine through, despite all of these changes I view as physical flaws.

Working on learning to love my body again.

I would love to hear your experience with body changes post-baby!

Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Disclaimer: Use all general, life and parenting advice contained herein at your own risk.