Braving Public Places with Littles

Do you know when I stopped eating out in public? About four years ago when my husband and I had our first child…..

I am pretty sure “they” created the option of take-out for young struggling parents who are dying to eat somewhere other than their own kitchen, but don’t dare step foot into a public place with a fussy infant or hell-bent toddler.

Ok, so I have eaten out since having children- but it is very rare.

I’m only on my second kid, so correct me if I’m wrong you mamas with 3,4,5…10 kids maybe… I shouldn’t care what people think but it seems my kids act their worst when we are in public. 

Each meal out consists of pulling up the menu in the car for your husband to casually peruse so he doesn’t miss out on ordering, then ordering as your hostess is guiding you to your table so there is not too much down time for the kids to become bored and totally unruly. 

It involves ordering cups with straws and lids for the kids as sort of a courteous gesture knowing  regardless, at least one drink will be spilled and require all the establishment’s extra napkins. 

When we have taken our kids to a restaurant, which we can count the times on one hand, it’s usually after hours of our daughter Emberly, who is 4, begging and pleading to go in and sit down and eat at a table (not just the Chic-fil-a drive-through). 

Let me tell you a “funny” story about eating inside at a restaurant with my kids. Emberly says “Mom we always just go through the drive through, can we PLEASE eat inside today, we will be so good.” My hubby was out of town so it was just the three of us. So we proceeded to park and get out at Chic-fil-a. 

Well let me tell you how that outing went and two things that are now engrained in my mind. 

1. My kids were climbing over the divider down the middle of the dining area saying hello to other families.

2. My son Grant caught a draft of air from the vent, coughed and vomited all the contents of his stomach onto his place setting.

Car seats are heaven-sent for more reason than one. One use I LOVE, is being able to have your kids strapped in and contained while you eat a meal. 

My diaper bag always gets a good cleaning when we eat out as a family. It makes a great distraction for all of a few minutes. 

Ohh lets count the number of diapers we have, sort objects according to use and put them in this pocket. Chapstick and lotion are things my kids love to use when we are out and about. 

I’ve said it in a previous post but putting in small compact able books for kiddos to read while waiting for food is a huge help. 

It is not going to be popular or politically correct, but I can and will not give my kids my phone when they are bored in a restaurant. When given a phone to cure boredom it hinders their NEED to be bored, to create and to problem solve. 

Kids need to figure out how to play with the sugar packets and make straws into shapes at the table like we did when we were kids.

I play on the floor with my kids doing puzzles or building with blocks at home, which I don’t give a second thought too, but I don’t think my kids EVER want to play more on the floor than under the table at a restaurant where people rest their feet…ewww. 

I usually try to avoid taking my kids out to eat inside someplace because honestly it becomes so stressful when it usually involves tantrums, spills and eyes starring in our direction. 

My friend said something the other day that of “I take my kids to eat out at least once a month to try and teach them manners and to learn how to act in public.”

That resonated with me because it is so true. Kids need those moments to learn, grow and experience. 

If you are reading this and your kids are grown, or you don’t have kids or you have survived the trenches of early parenting and are onto the teenage years, compliment families for taking their kids out to eat, keep giving those compliments that someone is doing a good job and that their kids are well behaved. 

I have appreciated it so much when I am frazzled, embarrassed etc and a sweet soul comes over and tells me how good my kiddos are acting and that I should be proud. 

As a society we hunger for praise but we don’t always give it. Let’s lift each other up more in these busy and somedays exasperating days of parenting.

Shopping IN a grocery store is rare for me these days what with Target pick up and grocery pick up. I have had and occasionally still have those moments of questioning my sanity trying to make it THROUGH the store, TO the front and OUT to the car safely.

My kids think the cart is a jungle gym and my son is past the point of being content sitting in the cart.

Something I have to do to make it through the store is have something for my kids to snack on.

When we go to the grocery store the first thing we head for is the fruit leathers so the kids can each have one and be distracted for a second trying to get it off the parchment paper.

For young kids, fruit leathers or squeezable apple sauce or fruit purees are generally mess free and can help give you a moment of free time to shop while they sit in the cart.

I remember on one occasion I decided to grab a hand held basket because we only needed a few things. My daughter was 2 and she was very into helping and being independent in all things.

There was a minute where I didn’t know how we were going to make it to the front of the store. The basket was too heavy for her to carry but she didn’t want anyone to help her carry it. It ended with me having to carry her out crying.

My kids are at the ages where they are so busy and want to be independent but aren’t quite there yet so even to get shoes and clothes on, get out of carseats and walk across the parking lot it takes a considerable amount of time.

Something that can help make those trips to the store more fun for kids is by getting them involved in the experience: having little ones hold the list or sales flyer, find and put items in the cart that are on the list, and playing I spy with your kiddos around the store.

Another place I find that can be hard with young kiddos is church. I have to laugh at the judgmental looks I get sometimes from older people or people without kids when my kids are too loud at the wrong times.

These kids will be the ones filling the pews someday so I will keep taking them regardless. 

Mini plastic containers from the dollar store to partition snacks are great for church so you don’t have wrinkling of bags or packages. 

I have a bag of activities to keep little ones as entertained as I possibly can because it is never fool-proof. 

I put books, quiet tactile books, lace up activities, coloring pages and search and find bean bags with small objects in them.

I am learning and still working on not passing judgment to other parents because at the end of the day we are all just trying to make it, trying to survive and doing the best we can in the ways we know how. 

I write this post as sort of a satire because in all honesty I am always at a loss with my kids in public, never know what to expect and am always more stressed in public places with my kiddos than I need to be. 

When I see parents trying to wrangle their kiddos I think its going to be me the next time, god speed and think of giving the sign from the hunger games movies.

Next time you see a picture on my social media of my picture perfect dinner out with my family or a staged glorious shopping adventure (that is our society), take heart and recall this post and know THIS is reality and not that.

Keep trying, keep taking them out in public, we are usually our worst critics and are doing way better than we think we are. 

If you have any suggestions on how to manage eating out at a restaurant, shopping or going to church with little ones, leave your thoughts in the comments!

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Disclaimer: Use all general, parenting and life advice contained herein at your own risk.