After three years of this schedule I decided to change specialities in the nursing field which is something that is awesome in my line of work.
I started working part time (2-3) shifts a week on the OB floor at the hospital. In many ways I have LOVED working more. I feel challenged, I am learning and growing and expanding my nursing knowledge. I still get to work with babies and have gotten to spend time with coworkers.
Most days I feel like I am blowing chunks in all the other aspects of my life.
It has been hard trying to navigate scheduling childcare for my kids, going without sleep, trying to find time for my kids, husband, family, friends and time for self care. I have felt very stretched thin.
I have mom brain x10 trying to remember everything and keep up.
For many months now I have wrestled with wanting to stay at home with my kids full time because I feel like I need to but I don’t know how to be a happy stay at home parent.
I have OCD and being at home 24/7 and feeling a need to keep my house clean all the time gets tiresome. I go stir crazy being at home all day.
One way I reign in my OCD and feeling stir crazy is by getting out a few times a week with my kids.
Things I alternate weekly are-
1. Library time
2. Park on warm days
3. Swimming
4. Children’s Museum
5. Play dates with friends
6. Other local community happenings I see on social media
It’s a beautiful continuum of losing yourself in serving, loving and everyday mundane tasks and in finding yourself and realizing what really matters.
Being a parent sanctifies you. Your worst sides come out in the trenches of dirty diapers, crying babies, siblings fighting, playing blocks and watching Peppa Pig on repeat. Yet it allows you to grow, to exercise patience, love, forgiveness and selflessness like never before.
I struggle everyday to feel whole and to remember my job and time right now is to love and serve my kids and my spouse which I am not always as good at remembering.
I can’t however be good at the above job with out nourishing my body, mind and soul. I have found after many months, that I am still going to try to do both.
I am a stay at home mom and a working mom. I am going PRN at my job on the OB floor and going to help teach labs here and there at the nursing program at the college. I am also going to be home with my kids and teach and spend quality time with them.
I can and am going to do both!
I have friends doing an array of things like doing hair a few times a month, working at their business a few days a week, solely home with their kids, trying to do side jobs like Usborne books and Pampered Chef trying to help contribute to family finances.
My mom growing up was a stay at home mom. She went to college for fashion merchandising and didn’t finish because she got married and had kids. She has given her LIFE for my sister, brother and I.
I have wanted to be a stay at home mom 100% like she was and I have tried and struggled greatly.
I have engrained memories of a mom who paused what she was doing with her life to feed us, teach us, make lunches for school, drive us to doctor and dentist appointments and who was home on days we were sick. We didn’t have to go to daycare or be with someone else because she was home always.
To you moms staying at home with your kids I commend you for it might be the hardest job of all but is the most important work helping shape and care for the rising generation.
And to you moms in the workforce trying to contribute to society and still managing to spend time with your kids- cheers to you. You’re still able to juggle the schedule of work, childcare, and keeping other parts of your life in order while holding it all together.
Let’s throw out the shaming of other moms who work or don’t work outside the home. In my experience my goal is and always will be to be the best mom I can in the best way I know how and most other moms goal is that too!
Let’s dismiss the mommy guilt of not working and contributing to finances, guilt of working too much and being with our kids too little and let’s give ourselves grace as moms for showing up and trying!
I would love to hear your experiences in the comments of being a stay at home parent or a working parent or a little of both!
Disclaimer: All general, parenting and life advice contained herein use at your own risk.